Over dinner, some three weeks ago, Nicholas casually relayed to me this incident with an old man who told him: “Godda**, you are wasting my time!”
I was surprised.
But before I turned into raging ball of emotions, Nicholas requested for me to listen because “it’s nothing urgent Ma” and “just want to tell you.”
Here’s the story.
Part of the kids’ training to understand the nuances of Filipino culture include buying ice from the neighbors. I grew up with relatives who didn’t have refrigerators so they bought blocks of ice from houses or stores that sell them. The blocks of ice are later crushed and mixed with water so they can enjoy cold drinks. I saw the need to teach this to the children so they value what they have even something as commonplace to them as a refrigerator.
While there is enough space sa among freezer aron makahimo og ice cubes, tapulan man ko so manugo ra gyud ko sa mga bata nga magpalit ice. Hehe.
They buy from this house with green gate where an old man lives. He has always been “humpy grumpy.” But we didn’t mind because, let’s admit it, humpy-grumpy people are all around us. Also, it was a conscious decision on my part not to tell the children about this humpy-grumpy old man because I didn’t want to influence their perception of the people they meet.
So all three kids know that the house with green gate, nga kalinya og balay ni silingan Lemme Labz nga lami moluto og utan nangka, kay adto sila mopalit og ice.
Ok ra man gyud ang “transactions” didto bisan naa si Humpy Grumpy. Ma-tolerate ra iyang mga mug-ot ug sapot. Hahaha.
But three weeks ago, Nicholas went there with a stick or a “wooden wand,” as he calls it. But he realized, upon closer inspection, that the stick was “rotten” so he left it in the area in front of the green gate because he was also waiting for the man to come out and hand him the three blocks of ice he bought. But a woman told him to pick up the stick and so he did and went to the area where he found the stick. The area, an unoccupied house, was four houses away from the green gate.
Realizing that he still has to pay the man and get the ice, he went back to the house with green gate. That’s when the man told him: ”
“Godda**, you are wasting my time!”
I asked Nicholas what he felt the moment he heard the man utter those words directed at him.
Did he feel in danger?
Was he offended?
Did he want to cry?
Nicholas said he remained calm and mumbled to himself: “This old man is doing this to a 10-year-old.”
He looked at the man in the eye, paid for the ice, and walked back home.
That night when I came home, he told me what happened.
“Do you need me to talk to the old man?” I asked.
“No need Ma. Humpy-grumpy old men have problems Ma. Maybe he has problems,” was his reply.
Antoinette, the twin sister, was furious. She said she would have responded to the man’s rude remarks.
Our resolve, as per Nicholas’ suggestion, was to stop buying ice from that house and just buy ice from the house with red gate where a very kind elderly couple living in there.
In the days that followed, I processed his feelings, repeatedly asking him if he felt bad, if he needs me to go to the house with green gate and talk to the man.
Nicholas’ reply was consistent: “No need Ma. We don’t get mad, Ma. We get even. Getting even means ignoring him because I don’t want to spend time planning bad things or spend my energy crying. I didn’t do anything wrong Ma so I’m OK.”
So mao to sya.
Nick is a genius and I always worry about how he socializes with other children and persons. But oh my goodness, the last four years, this boy has flourished in building relationships, in handling bullies, and in this recent case, dealing with a humpy, grumpy, rude man.
He is homeschooled, by the way.
So… no hate, just pride and love for this boy.
Ah, Nicholas. You are your father’s son.
