It’s not all teddy bears and chocolate chip cookies as much as I want it to be that way at home. One of the many lessons I learned about being a mother evem before I became one is to observe children and take careful note of their varied responses to every action you take.
For instance, they want to be carried but you’re tired to do so, or in my case, I’m pregnant (18 weeks now) and can’t carry the two of them at once unlike December of last year when I could just scoop 20 kilos of twin weight and bring them both at the airport. The twins have a combined weight of 24 kilos as of last week (13 kilos for Nicholas and 11 kilos for Antoinette), almost as heavy as one-half sack of rice, and they’re daily wish to be carried and cuddled is becoming a reason for them to throw a fit.
Terrible twos for the twins started as early as 18 months old. It must be so frustrating when you think you can speak and have made yourself understood but the adults just don’t get what you were saying because they came out as mere babbles and incomprehensible syllables. There have been so many episodes of public meltdown and though I have always managed to hold the fort and be as cool as possible, the terrible-two stage has a way of making me crazy beyond reasonable doubt; it has the ability to transform me into an unforgiving, selfish, fire-breathing monster.
But this stage also taught me about myself and how to handle the rollercoaster emotions and changes I have been feeling in the last four months. It’s not easy to manage two toddlers and a pregnant belly – and yes, hormones play a huge factor in the way I deal with situations these days. I have learned that while some “strategies” worked before, they don’t necessarily work these days so they need to be set aside or totally kept in a closet where outdated, obsolete and passé moves and litanies are hidden for your own good.
Because we are in the terrible-two stage, Antoinette has been testing the elasticity of my patience for months now. Last week, she threw a fit in one of the pharmacies inside Ayala Center Cebu. I told her I don’t tolerate tantrums and walked away (while my Aunt stayed behind to watch her). She immediately stood up and ran fast to catch up with me. I used to employ a combination of spank and scream to control Antoinette (and Nicholas too) but I learned, in my still limited experience as a mother and 17 years as storyteller and crowd manager of children, that spanking and screaming don’t work all the time. It’s better to just leave them alone and let them cool down. Antoinette came back to me smiling saying, “Nanay, Nanay” as if she didn’t stir everyone in that area in Ayala with her eardrum-breaking wail.
Jeff, on the other hand, is Mr. Cool and Happy. It’s amazing how quiet the house becomes when Jeff is managing the twins. He is so good with them. I wonder where he gets the energy to do this after a long day of managing adults, writing and editing press releases and company reports, and cooking meals for the family (including Italian spaghetti sauce cooked for four hours with homemade meatballs and steak that melts-in-your-mouth). Jeff employs heat vision and the Daddy growl and they both work. He is the Alpha Male and the twins bow down to his presence.
As for me, I’ll practice my runway walk as I am sure there will be more repeat performances like Antoinette’s mall episode in the future. Let’s hope I don’t trip in my heels, er, flipflops.
